A Mini Birthright Trip
There’s nothing like a Jewish holiday to remind your grandmother how many of her friend’s grandsons are single…or so I read in the J-Date terms of service. (more…)
Continue ReadingLooks Like I’ll Probably End Up a Runway Model
Forget Rosh Hashana and its apples and honey dog-and-pony show. Last Friday I celebrated a real holiday. One that really spoke to the stingy Jew inside of me. I’m obviously talking about Fashion”s Night Out. The only event that fools me into thinking that I actually like shopping. (more…)
Continue ReadingWhiplash > Whipped Yogurt: The Conclusive Follow Up
Well I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seats wondering what happened to me post car accident. Did I survive? And if no, how much extra was it to install wifi on my grave? Well the answer (unfortunately for all you free wifi whores out there) is that I lived.And I couldn’t wait until next Monday to tell you what happened. Yes, I update every...
Continue ReadingWhiplash is ALL the Rage This Season
It’s hard to believe that just mere days ago I was convinced that the highlight of my labor day weekend was going to be my ragin’ eye infection. Because there’s nothing quite like wearing your 7th-grade glasses out in public because your eye doctor “claims” you’re overwearing your contacts (who knew you had to take them out...
Continue ReadingWhere is My Mrs. Doubtfire?
As anyone who has ever played truth or dare with me knows (so basically just my 7th grade Bat Mitzvah class), I lack all and any impulse control. So I operate best when I’m treated like an overtired 5-year-old in need of a nap. I need structure, I need guidelines, and I need rewards for positive behavior. (more…)
Continue ReadingMy Quest to be the Perfect New Yorker
The most fun part of living in NYC is watching your transformation from a naive college student to a cold-hearted New Yorker capable of turning children and hearts to stone. Considering that my parents always affectionately tell me I was born with ice in my veins, this wonderful, miraculous metamorphosis didn’t take too long for me. Six days to be exact. ...
Continue ReadingAnna Wintour Claims Stingy is the New Black
There are a lot of perks to being a professional blogger besides the obvious one of constantly getting the opportunity to answer “but seriously, do you like waitress or something at night to pay the rent?” Like another little known perk is being the go-to person when someone wants to start a personal blog. It almost goes without saying that I crave...
Continue ReadingThe Summer I Dated My Brother
If you decided to read this blog AFTER reading the title, consider yourself a quality human being full of curiosity and a healthy appetite for wildly inappropriate relationships. Unfortunately for the Lifetime Movie executive producers reading this blog for ideas, no, it’s not true. I did not and will not ever date my little brother. However that didn’t...
Continue ReadingDoes Anyone Know a Lunesta Dealer?
I’m getting older every single day. That’s just a little fact I read on Wikipedia. And even without my trusty friend Wikipedia I know it’s true. I feel it in my bones and I feel it when I get excited about a commercial for a toilet bowl cleaning product. And I feel it when I wake up before the sun. Yes I’ve entered that horrifying realm...
Continue ReadingThe Roadtrip Where I Played Nascar Driver
The only point of living in NYC and subsisting on peanut-butter and scrambled eggs is to be able to brag to non-NYC dwelling friends about the fabulous things you do. Partying with celebrities, getting bottle service at exclusive clubs, and checking out a really neat book at the public library are all things I love to write mass e-mails about. So naturally I...
Continue Reading