Archive for March, 2012

This Is Why I Hate Shopping

I made a huge mistake last week. One of incredibly epic proportions. And there’s no going back from what I did, mostly because I bought the shoes on sale and there’s a no return policy where I bought them. So last year I needed black flats in a hurry and I bought them from a cheap random store I found walking home from work. They were $15 and I figured...

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Kids Are So Stupid These Days

I learned at a very young age what conversation topics are appropriate for parents and which conversation topics aren’t. Somehow none of my three siblings ever picked up on this life lesson and therefore spend the majority of time with my mother trying to explain why their “skinny dipping with knives in the dark isn’t dangerous as long as someone’s...

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An Open Letter To My Neighbors

Dear Neighbors, I need you to stop and I need you to stop right now. I’m sick and tired of coming home from a long day of work and having to smell your dinner. It smells fucking delicious and it’s getting harder and harder for me to walk by your door every day like nothing’s happening. Like you’re not in there with a chef’s hat...

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