Should I Date This Ninja From OkCupid?
The best part of being part of the OkCupid community is that you get to meet potential serial killers before they murder their first victim. Not every woman gets to be swept off her feet by a man who will eventually be profiled on a very special episode of Dateline. Call me traditional, but I like to meet men who have a strong vision for their future. Even...
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The Time I Almost Chopped off My Finger
Well luck be a lady tonight because it’s actually a miracle that I’m sitting here and typing this blog with all ten fingers. Just days ago I almost chopped off my finger in a cheese grating incident gone awry. (more…)
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How to go to the Bathroom in the Middle of the Night
Wake up at 3 A.M in your apartment and realize you have to pee. Think about how much effort it will take to walk to the bathroom. Decide you actually don’t have to pee. You just think you have to pee. Go back to sleep. Wake up 5 seconds later. You definitely have to pee. Fall back asleep. Have 30 second dream that you woke up, went to the bathroom and...
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SometimesITalkReallyFast
So it’s confession time. And luckily for you it’s not about a murder. Sigh of relief. Can you imagine how awkward it would be for you if you read a murder confession on a small personal blog? You’d be all like, “ummm, do I go to the police? Do I tweet about this? Do I pin it to my ‘my favorite blogging criminals’ pinterest...
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My Week In Jonas Brothers Death Threat Tweets
As many of my loyal readers might have noticed, I stopped posting blogs weekly. After writing a weekly column for the last three years (first on CollegeCandy and then here), I thought I would just keep having semi-interesting things happen to me week after week after week. Not only am I growing older and not only am I growing much more boring, but I’m...
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Did I Ever Tell You About My Literal Blind Date
In a highly unusual move for a single 24-year-old living in New York City, I signed up for an online dating site last year. I know, groundbreaking move. Shocking. Brave. Heroic. Daring. Trust me, I know. Those are all words I used to describe myself in my profile. Along with “high profile lawyer” and “former ibanker” and “Dustin Diamond enthusiast.”...
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How To Explain Trolls To Your Neurotic Mother
I attract trolls. They love me. Or I suppose they love to hate me. No matter where I work or where I publish my blogs, they always find me. And truth be told, I welcome their attention. It’s refreshing to be reminded every single day that I’m a horrible person with horrible writing skills. Also I’m a retard. If three trolls say it on three different...
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Yeah, I’d Go Back To College
I miss college. Like really miss it. And I didn’t realize how much until I attended my little sister’s college graduation this weekend. While I anticipated heated fights with my family over the dinner seating arrangements and intense boredom from the actual commencement ceremonies, I didn’t anticipate the intense wave of nostalgia I felt...
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I Think A Nurse Hit On Me
Last week I went to the doctor to get my yearly physical. Considering that I have access to the Internet, this yearly check-up usually proves pointless. What can a doctor possibly tell me that Yahoo Answer cannot? But because I’m addicted to diagnosing myself with rare illnesses I head to the doctor each year in hopes he’ll tell me something exciting....
Continue ReadingWhen God Closes A Door, PC Richards Opens Up A 9-5 Window
I love schedules, spreadsheets, punctuality, reservations, watches, alarms and predictability.I like knowing when I’m going to be doing what I’m going to be doing it. If I was a smidge more anal retentive I could read train time tables for fun. That’s how much I love being on time. My good friends over at PC Richards live a little more spontaneously....
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